


Give me a chance

by Estefany



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders-centric, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Unsympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Unsympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Unsympathetic Logic | Logan Sanders, Unsympathetic Sides (Sanders Sides), Unsympathetic Thomas Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:27:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29177961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Estefany/pseuds/Estefany
Summary: All a side could ever want in life is to be accepted by Thomas. Is their goal. The whole meaning of their existence.But Remus can't get that.Aka: Remus is the only side that doesn't get accepted
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	Give me a chance

"What?" he kept his smile up, but the tone dropped

"I'm sorry, Remus, but is a no" Thomas' tone was low, but hard. Honest. Hurtful.

"No" he laughed, spiteful "No, it- it can't- you CAN'T- this is where you tell me that I was right, this is when- when-" his mind was racing, almost as fast as his heart. "this isn't happening- this can't-"

"Remus, calm down-"

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN YOU DOBLE PENIS BASTARD" he had never screamed at Janus before, but couldn't say he regreted it now "you can't tell me to calm the fuck down when you _do_ get your chance. You got a chance- he got a chance- all of you got a fucking chance! Why can't I have mine?!"

He hated it. He hated he couldn't just pretend he was fine with being rejected. He hated he couldn't hide behind smiles and jokes like Roman. He hated he couldn't fake like Roman. He hated he couldn't be more like Roman. He hated he couldn't be Roman.

"I've tried _everything_. I did everything you asked me to- I- maybe not as good as Roman-but I- I can do it! I'm still your creativity, right? I'm useful- I can be useful! Why am I here if I'm not? Why do I exist if I-"

"You _sometimes_ can work. But honestly? You're just annoying"

He still liked Virgil. Dispite everything, he never hated him or thought bad of him, not worse than anyone else at least. And he hated it. He hated he couldn't hate him, not even now, not even after those words because whatever he felt wasn't hate, was something so, _so_ much worse

"... Please" he was trying. He was trying so hard to not break down. He always tried, and tried and tried but it just was never good enough it was never enough it was- "Thomas, _please_... Just give me a chance" his voice got a little weaker with each word, his vision starting to get blurry "That's- that's all I'm asking for- just _one_ chance! One chance, and I'll be good, I'll do what you ask me to, I'll do what you want, I'll be good, I'll be a good kid, I'll be good-" his mind wasn't quite there anyomore. It was many, many years back, when everything started to go to hell, when he had been taken away from his brother for reasons he didn't understand, when he started to get repressed in the name of being 'good'

"I said no" there was a drop of regret on his voice. But it was only that, a drop in a sea of harsh truth "You're hurtful"

"I can change! I WILL change! I-" he cried sincerely, like he had forgotten all the times before he had tried. Maybe, this time, it would work? "Please...I'm begging you... Please... " he wasn't just asking Thomas. A gaze that showed so much more than he'd wished to shifted from his creator to the rest

To Patton, who had created him just to dispite him

To Janus, who had given him empty promises full of hope and light

To Logan, the only one who never called him a monster, but nuisance

To Roman, whose pride would always shine and drown him

And To Virgil... Virgil, who he once considered close to a friend, who he was happy for when he got accepted, who now looked at him like a ugly stranger

"Why?" was the only thing he managed to mutter, not knowing when had he started to hug himself oh so thighly (had he ever been given a hug? He couldn't remember), face stuck on the floor for he was unable to look a second more to their disgusted stares

"Because you're the side of Thomas that he will never accept"

He looked up. Logan was looking at him dead in the eye. No emotion in his voice, his face. Just facts. Cold facts that hurt more than any fire or sword (and boy does he know about pain)

The dam broke. Or was it already broken? He only knew there was something wet and hot on his face and he tried to clean it his his palm, but there was more and he kept trying to clean it and kept trying and trying to clean his mess but he just kept on weeping. He was still weeping when he started to sink down, no one even pretending to stop him. He was still weeping when he got to his room, which soon reflected a fraction of the havoc that was his head. And he was still weeping when night came, laying on his broken bed and hugging a pillow with whatever little strength he had left. 

He stopped when there were no tears left. And then he noticed he was completely, utterly alone


End file.
